Opportunity

The following is an email I received from a friend that was inspired to have a little fun with me based on recent real events taking place in our country. My friends humor gave me a good laugh and the links to actual events from recent news gave me a bit of a sobering chill.


Comrade Steve,

Official request (from those unable to earn an income by working hard)

You need to inform your over-qualified “paying” tenants to vacate your property to make room for our brothers from our southern neighbor – Guantanamo Bay. These brothers have been held too long illegally by that tyrant George Bush (single-handedly) and after reading them their MIRANDA RIGHTS, they will soon be joining us here in the US. Granted, this country (United States) has done so many terrible things wrong to every other nation in the world that it is strange they would honor us by relocating here. Nevertheless, we plan to make their lives more comfortable by letting them stay in your “rental” homes. It is obvious, you are not in need of these possessions and they will be better served as property of the state! As you know, we, the real people, frown upon capitalism and work (secretly) to discourage anyone from earning more money than we say you can earn. Therefore, the state has decided to pay you……uh….nothing for these unneeded possessions. In fact, due to your reported income, or at least what we think you make because you are a middle aged white person, you cannot report this as a loss on your income taxes either. I am sure you understand.

Do not fret over our decision; rest assured we have your greater good at heart. We plan to deploy a national health care system as effectively as we run any Federal program – FEMA, Social Security or Medicare. Our plan is to drive this inefficient, high priced, fiasco down your throats with tools such as “the twisted truth”, innuendos, and misconceptions by capitalizing on the American people’s hatred of all those rich capitalist and their desire to keep everyone down.

This program will succeed due to our first initiative to kill the largest economy in the world with time proven techniques like over-taxation and massive-spending strategies. Once our economy is just less than Costa Rico’s, the existing supply and demand medical community will cease to exist creating a demand for our program.

We thank you for your cooperation and look forward to confiscating the rest of your belongings. It will not be in the near future, after all we are the government and we do nothing fast or efficiently, that is why we must tax you so much.



Your brother in poverty,
Comrade Dave “disillusioned”



Related stories (all today) and all true:

Bermuda takes 4 detainees from Gitmo
Their release comes as the administration scrambles to meet President Barack Obama's pledge to close the Guantanamo Bay detention facility by early next year.
Americans' net worth shrinks $1.33 trillion in 1Q (ABC News)

WASHINGTON – American households lost $1.33 trillion of their wealth in the first three months of the year

CEO says gov't pressured bank to buy Merrill Lynch (Associated Press)

WASHINGTON – House lawmakers on Thursday accused the federal government of orchestrating a "shotgun wedding" between Bank of America Corp. and Merrill Lynch that cost taxpayers $20 billion

Obama declares time to fix health care is now (Associated Press)
GREEN BAY, Wis. – President Barack Obama went to the nation's heartland Thursday to challenge critics of his proposed health care overhaul, asking: "What's the alternative?"
White House uses Web during speech to Muslims (Associated Press)
Obama's speech Thursday was an illustration of the administration's aggressive strategy to work the Web to enhance the White House's message. A flurry of messages flooded the Internet, as the White House's Twitter feed and Facebook page posted highlights while Obama was still speaking and the State Department sent free text messages about the speech.
California nears financial "meltdown" as revenues tumble (Reuters)
California's government risks a financial "meltdown"
Administration, Congress seek to rein in exec pay (Associated Press)
WASHINGTON – The Obama administration is taking a half-step toward taming executive pay. Some lawmakers prefer a fuller stride.

More students on free lunch programs (USA Today)
Nearly 20 million children now receive free or reduced-price lunches in the nation's schools, an all-time high, federal data show