Understanding Resisters’ Emotions and Listening to Their Concerns

“The golden Rule of Persuasion—listen to others as you would have them listen to you.” --Harry Mills

Most resistance springs from two emotions:

Fear: Your audience doesn’t like your idea because of its potential consequences. For instance, listeners may worry that a proposed restructuring will cost them their jobs.

Distrust: Your audience doesn’t like you or what you represent. For example, perhaps that R&D manager tends to view marketers as “artsy” and shortsighted.

By understanding the emotions driving resistance, you can take the next steps in addressing listeners’ fears (for example, how likely is it that the restructuring will end in lost jobs?) or addressing their objections to you as a person so as to improve the relationship.

One powerful way to improve relationships is to build trust by listening closely to resisters’ concerns. By listening, you demonstrate that you understand and value these individuals as well as their concerns and ideas. When people feel that they’ve been heard and that their ideas are valued, they become more open to considering your ideas.

ACTION POINT: Overcome fear and distrust by listening intently.