Becoming More Assertive

Ask yourself, Am I assertive enough?

• Does my response accurately reflect how I feel if I'm given a compliment about my work?
• Am I able to speak up when I'm in a group of strangers?
• If others interrupt me when I am talking, can I hold my ground?
• Do I avoid being taken advantage of by other people?
• Am I able to criticize others work if I think they might react badly?

Becoming more assertive can be developed by practicing the following:

• State your case - Try beginning your conversations with "I" phrases, such as "I think," "i believe," or "I need."
• Be prepared - Prepare for tricky encounters: have all the facts at hand, and try to anticipate the other person's replies.
• Use open questions - If you are finding it hard to get a person to talk to you, use open questions that cannot be answered with a simple "yes" or "no" answer.
• Visualize yourself - try assertive role play with a trusted colleague, to help you to see yourself as an assertive person.
• Get perspective - Try to see the situation form the other person's point of view. Most workplace bullies, for example, are hiding their own insecurities or an inability to do the job. Use this knowledge to give you perspective on any feelings of intimidation or offense you experience, and offer the bull help to overcome their problems.
• Be patient - You'll need time to practice to become comfortable with the new behavior. if you are naturally a passive person, recognize that those around you may initially be uncomfortable when you start to become more assertive.

ACTION POINT: Use preparation, perspective and patience to develop your assertiveness.